Log in

25 June 2006 @ 01:09 pm

Five year old sisters are annoying. Really.

Rating: Two Kirema Anima - A Pain
Title: Hikari Mew Mew
Suethor Author: Starsky Chan (Where's Hutch?)
Name(s): Shirogane Yuzu, Haruko Chiyu, Mina Arakawa, bonus Stu named Uchiha Kumo *headdesk*, Weifa, Kureipu and Mafin
Species: All human except Mafin, Weifa and Kureipu are aliens.
Hair color: Yuzu has blonde hair
Eye color: Yuzu has brown eyes
Markings: none
Possessions: none
Connections to Canon: Yuzu is Ryou's daughter.
Annoying Tidbit: This was SO CLOSE to a one but the Fan!Japanese ruined it. So now it's a two.
Mew Mew Genes and Abilities: N/A
Mew Mew Outfit: N/A

It's not actually that bad but it's the Fan!Japanese that brought it down.

She flopped on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. She didn’t want to be too worried about the whole “a-cat-entered-my-body-and-it-felt-good” incident, but it just came back to her mind anyway. ...Tennis no Ouji-sama would ease her mind right now. Especially Kaido and his stupid remarks.

“...weird...” she muttered. She was about to pet her cat, Pokki, which was perched on her bed, when she heard a knock on her door.

“Uhh...come in” she said, but she felt too tired to really talk to anyone.

To her surprise, it was her father, Ryou. Ever since he established MYUU, she made barely any contact with him. He was almost always at MYUU, working with chimeras, and animal infusion. If he was actually knocking on her door, then it had to be something important.

He even seemed brave enough to sit on her bed with her. The nerve...!

“Nee, Yuzu. I have a small favor to ask of you...” he trailed off, thinking in his head how to word it without getting his head bitten off.

“Hai?” she replied, fiddling with her hair.

“I know...you have plans for your birthday...”

Yuzu knew exactly what he was going to say (or something close to it.), but she listened and kept her mouth shut anyway.

“...but you’re going to have to post-pone your plans. I want you to be here tomorrow, because I want to bring you to MYUU.”

Yuzu looked at him shocked. “WHAAAAA! But, tomorrow’s the only time that Kurokage will be performing at school!” she glared angrily, and crossed her arms. “Everyone will be talking about it on Monday, ya know.” she added on, with an “as-a-matter-of-fact” tone.

Ryou frowned, like it was the first time Yuzu ever refused to do something for him. But she argued with him a lot. He sighed, and stood up. “You’re coming with me, no matter what. Don’t disobey your father.” Ryou had a dead-serious sound to time, which make Yuzu nod an intimidated nod. He quickly put a more caring expression on his face, and nodded. “Please be optimistic about this trip, because it won’t be what you think it is.” he opened her door, and left through it.

The blonde girl sat dazed for a moment, almost afraid of why her father wanted her to come to MYUU. Her brain pushed those thoughts out by settled with the thought of her upcoming birthday.

She stood up, and stared at her calender. ‘April 27th...’ she droned out to herself. ‘One more day, then I’m 15.’

Little did Yuzu know that her whole perspective of herself, her father, and MYUU would be changed.


How am I feeling? I feel: pissed offGAAAAAAH!!
I'm listening to : if you call my sister screaming ''music''
sleeves on June 25th, 2006 07:04 pm (UTC)
She didn’t want to be too worried about the whole “a-cat-entered-my-body-and-it-felt-good” incident

Dx That sounds sooo WRONG.
Witch of Heartleikomgwtfbbq on June 25th, 2006 11:01 pm (UTC)
God, yes. D:

Other than the craptacular fangirl Japanese, this is actually pretty good.
「someone oughta open up a window 」: Narutosinging_monk on June 26th, 2006 11:38 am (UTC)
Actually this was pretty boring. Maybe I'm up to early, but it wasn't that bad.
_monteh_ on June 27th, 2006 02:19 am (UTC)

Starsky here (By the way, Hutch moved away 2 years ago :B). Don't worry, I'm not going to bite off your head off because you gave HMM a bad review. I'm going to look at this as a...good criticism :D;;.

But DAMN, I wasn't expecting this XD. *goes to get rid of Japanese, because everyone seems to hate it*
Kayt Kakalinaselene_moon on June 27th, 2006 01:20 pm (UTC)
Don't get rid of all of it. Maybe the words, like "hai," and all, but "mou" and the honorifics should stay in.

And YEEESSSSS! I have found your ffn account! *Goes off to add you to her watch list*
_monteh_ on June 27th, 2006 06:00 pm (UTC)
All the "hai"s are gone :B. Mou is still in, and honorifics are still in, too.

YAY! I need your account too, though! D:
Kayt Kakalinaselene_moon on June 27th, 2006 06:19 pm (UTC)

That's the eay URL, and it'll never change, since I like being DKayt.
Sunzi: Official Tokyo Mew Mew Sue Sporkertokyomew_sues on June 27th, 2006 04:15 pm (UTC)
Your fic isn't bad like some on here recently.

Well, you saw your mistake and you have the sense to correct it.

Nice Jiraiya and Naruto icon BTW.
_monteh_ on June 27th, 2006 05:58 pm (UTC)
Thats good to hear. When I came here, and saw the review, I thought "Is HikaMew that sueish and bad? o_o;".

But I guess it could've gotten rated worse..

Thank you <3 I lurve Jiraiya *___*.